


bubbles

by sugarskrub



Category: Hello Charlotte (Video Games)
Genre: M/M, implied drug use tw (soap)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-28
Updated: 2020-07-28
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:02:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25575505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sugarskrub/pseuds/sugarskrub
Summary: when it rains, it stormswhen it hurts, the fire blazes into your boneswhy now, why herehave I allowed myself to feel?I wanna die.God, I want the world to let me die.
Relationships: Bennett/Felix Honikker
Kudos: 9





	bubbles

In the morning hours, I wake to the feeling of  **burning** tearing through my skin.  **It hurts, it hurts,** and it's not the only thing. My heart hurts, too. Why does everything hurt all the time? I often wonder to myself why my life has to be such a mess. Then again, I'm not special for it or anything.

… I go to the bathroom to eat some soap. It'll drown it out, if nothing else. As I press my lips to the bottle, starting to let the green liquid flow -- a crashing noise startles me and I spit it out.

… Confused, scared, I whip around behind me -- Collapsed on the floor, a familiar face.

“Mister Honikker?”

He's out of breath, out of sorts, and wheezing on the ground. I throw the bottle against the wall out of reflex and rush over to him. He lets out a groan -- “Bennett…”

“... You doing okay?”

“Obviously not.” He says it flatly. I laugh a bit at it, and I lift his head into my lap, turning him into his back and raising him up a little in my arms.

He smiles at me. He never smiles at anything. I get heart palpitations.

“Mister Honikker, um…”

“It's okay.  _ I know. _ ” Oh, I want to break into tiny little pieces. I don't want to be alive.

“Is there anything I--”

He shakes his head. Something bubbles beneath the surface of my throat.

“... Your company.” He says. Oh. I…

“You want my company --  _ my  _ company?”

“Mm.” He nods, coughing. I lift him up. He looks surprised, but nestles comfortably into my arms. “... Better.”

I laugh. It's a miserable laugh. My arms hurt, but I carry him to the couch.

“... I am sorry.” He says. I shake my head.

“Don't be. It's… enough that you want me here, even though--” 

He shakes his head, “Don't say it.”

I lay his head in my lap, and pet his hair.

“I love you, Mister Honikker.”

It's overwhelming. My face feels hot. Something's in my eye -- all of them. It stings.

“I know, and I am sorry.” He’s not stupid. I know he knew. Probably all this time, it’s not as though I was subtle. … It’s not as though I chose my words carefully.

It’s really warm, even though everything’s bad and hurting. It’s really warm, and I feel so gentle like this. I plant a small kiss to his cheek. He smiles at me. And then he coughs into his arm.

“... I love you too, Bennett.”

I want to die, Felix Honikker.

If you’re going to die, I want to die too.

My fingers dance through his hair, instead.

“In another world, we’d be together, I’m sure.” He laughs -- it’s… a small laugh, weak, hoarse, but…

I can understand why he’d say it, though. I feel that way too.

‘I want to’ ‘Don’t go’ -- ‘Don’t leave me.’ They’re all left unsaid, and I let out a sob instead.

He looks stunned for a moment, reaching his hand up to caress my cheek. “Bennett…” He runs it along my face, “You’re crying.”

I nod.

“I didn’t think I-- But--”

His smile is so gentle, loving, kind. It’s the way he looks at his plant. It’s a little different, though. It’s so full of warmth. Is he tearing up too.

“It’s okay.”

I sob again. He leans up, his breathing very unsteady. But he leans up anyway, pressing his face against mine -- a kiss to my lips.

“Like I said, I love you too, Bennett.”

I hold him close. “I don’t want to lose you…”

“I know.” He nuzzles himself into me. His breathing slows. He doesn’t have much time. It’s rough.

“Do you believe in the afterlife, Mister Honikker?”

He looks up at me, simply stating, “No.”

“... Then it’s the same for me, I think.”

It’s not fair, Mister Honikker. Why do you have to leave?

“Mm.” He presses his whole body against me. “It’s a selfish request, but…”

“Anything, Mister Honikker. Anything at all. I’ll burn down the whole world for your sake.”

He chuckles at that, “You’ll stay with me here, right? For some reason, I… don’t want to be alone when I die, and... You…”

“Mm.” I gently run my fingers through his hair, letting him press his face against my chest.  **I don’t care that it hurts. I don’t care that the physical pain sears through me like an endless fire. What matters is Mister Honikker--** Mister Honikker…

“... We won’t see each other again, Mister Honikker.”

He chokes on the air already, coughing out blood. “What are you talking about? You’ll see me in the morning.”

“... It’s not the same.” I say, but I’m well aware I’ll fall in love again. “You love me, Mister Honikker. Don’t leave.”

His eyes widen, and he starts to cry himself. He buries himself against me.

“I wish I could satisfy your request.”

I exhale.Shaky. “I know.”

We stay there, comfortably. I give him another kiss. And another. His lips are warm.

… We fall asleep.

I awaken to a cold body.

A corpse lays in his place.

I have a breakdown that morning.

… I scream in the TV room.

Florence is the one to find me there.

“Bennett, you…”

“It’s not fair! It’s not fucking fair, Florence! Why do I have to keep doing this?! I want to kill myself, Florence! I want to fucking die!”

She lifts the corpse from my arms. It takes a lot to pry him away from me, but ultimately, she’s stronger.

“... I know. There’s nothing we could do.”

“Please, just kill me!” She places the corpse in a bodybag, then walks over to me. I think she’s going to slap me, so I wince back.

… Instead, she hugs me.

I cry again. Two times in one night.

“It’s not fucking fair, Florence! It’s not fucking fair…”

“It’s okay, Bennett. I know.”

I don’t want to meet the new Felix this morning.

I’m shaking when Huxley ‘introduces’ us.

“Now, now, everyone! This is my nephew, Felix Honikker! Say hello!”

“... Hello.”

Everyone introduces themself first.

I look away.

He looks up at me with those eyes. I can’t… look away.

“Good morni--” I shake my head, “It’s nice to meet you, Mister Honikker! I’m Bennett! Starting today, we’ll be working together. Isn’t that fantastic?!”

God, I’m faking so hard right now.

He walks over to me, placing a hand against my cheek.

“... You’ve been crying, haven’t you?”

… This one’s surely going to be a failure, too.

**Author's Note:**

> In the end, any sort of afterlife would be cold comfort.  
> The you I knew, I loved, I lost --  
> I'll never be able to meet you again.  
> I'll fall in love with a new you.  
> And the process will begin anew.  
> \--
> 
> i love felben but god does it make me wanna kms


End file.
